Why does every right and successful path make you work hard? Why is it that only if you are hard on yourself and are focused all the time, you'll achieve something? Can't it be that you have fun and achieve your dreams?
These are some questions that I wonder about sometimes when I am lying in my bed at night.
I have always heard from my parents that only those who work very hard and are focused become successful. One thing that I never understood was why is having fun and indulging in something that helps you relax, not important enough?
Is it that being successful is being happy?
Long back, I had watched the movie "Dear Zindagi." This dialogue exactly resonates with my thoughts. It spoke to me immediately - "Kabhi Kabhi hum mushkil rasta Sirf isiliye chunte hai kyuki hume lagta hai ki kuch important pane ke liye mushkil rasta apnana chahie. Apne aap ko punish Karna zaroori samajhte hai." (Translation- Sometimes we choose the difficult path just because we think that important things can be achieved only then. We feel it is necessary to punish ourselves to achieve something fruitful)
But why? Earlier, I used to feel good about myself only if I put in lots of effort and time into something. But, I used to get upset if the results weren't good enough. Eventually, it would lead to blaming myself for not putting in enough effort or only if I would have worked harder.
As I grew up, I started easing up a bit with myself. I realized that the hard path will teach me a lot of lessons, it's going to give me a rich bouquet of experiences, which is what being successful is.
So, instead of despising the hard path, I should stop being hard on myself. It is essential to gain experiences and lessons. Still, it is absolutely not required to punish myself in the way ahead.
Whenever we feel that someone else is doing so much better than us, the feeling of failure always creeps its way in. We forget that this is not their life, it's our life, and we need to set up the standards that we want.
Also, what I feel is, success is very subjective. For example, achieving a certain amount of salary is a milestone for someone. At the same time, being independent and taking care of yourself is a success for someone else. We shouldn't label the first person as more successful than the other. What matters is that you have given your best and have achieved something with your own hard work.
Similarly, it can also be that it requires you to put in a little less effort to achieve something than your friend. This doesn't mean that you are not a hard worker. It's just that you have some more resources than your friend, that's why you don't have to work hard night and day.
You must believe in yourself and your capabilities. You are good enough as anyone else out there. Why? Because you are, and it's all about your mindset. Keep it positive.
It's not like you have to own a million-dollar company and solve the problem of global warming to be successful. And after all this only, you will be able to contribute significantly to the world.
No, whatever you do and put your efforts into, is essential for you and is significant enough for the world. Sometimes it takes a while to reach the destination that you desire. You got to take a few snack breaks and tea breaks in between to re-energize yourself.
It's okay to enjoy and pay attention to your wants and needs every once in a while. Remember, the happier and more satisfied you are, the more good you will feel about yourself and the better you will think.
On this journey, there are going to be a few issues as well, like a tire puncture. What to do then? Sit and blame yourself saying, "I should have been able to see that small nail on the expressway?"
That doesn't make sense, right? Exactly, you can't blame yourself forever for the failures and situations that are out of your control. It's okay. once in a while, there are going to be setbacks, and you'll be late on your journey. That doesn't mean that you are never going to make it.
You will, it is just going to take a little longer. Additionally, you'll also learn the skill of changing tires and maybe sitting down for a while and relaxing.
The point being, you are not a failure when you face setbacks. You are trying your best, and this will only add positive points in your journey ahead.
Be it a relationship, a job, a goal, whatever, you will learn to do it better every time there is a setback.
Also, life isn't only about the results or consequences, is it? It is also about the journey that I was talking about. The experiences make you and change you as a person. They will make you more mature and give you depth if you allow them to.
But that doesn't mean overloading each day with something or the other. Sometimes we misunderstand productivity as cramming our days with things to do and achieve. Productivity, instead, is about enjoying and adding value to work and life. So, as long as we reach the goal by adding value to it and enjoying the process, we are good.
Therefore, be it the easy way or a hard way, you shouldn't easily get hard on yourself. You have to trust yourself completely. You will be successful when you believe that you are. Act like you are good enough, and you'll be.
Written by - Radhika Marathe
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